Finding Support while Screaming

A jumbled and scattered day six NaBloPoMo post as I prepare for a difficult weekend…

I’m traveling from the East Coast to the West tomorrow to visit my very ill grandfather, so today was a blur of coordinating schedules and figuring out who would be where when while I’m away.  We’re a six hour flight or drive away from any extended family members that might be able to swoop in and help my husband as he solo-parents for the next few days.  This means that we have to rely heavily on friends, many of whom have their own families to support.  Thankfully, we have some wonderful people in our lives that have agreed to help out.  Another same-sex parenting couple is carting our daughter all over town on Saturday from soccer games to birthday parties; these dear friends are a two mom family with a baby of their own, and more than once they’ve taken our daughter for some all-female bonding time, and she relishes having some time away from the three men in her house.  She often says, “Even the cats are boys!”  These two amazing women are even hosting our daughter for a sleepover tomorrow night to make things a little easier on my husband.  Then we have a great neighbor, a great mom herself who graduated twin girls from high school last spring, who has agreed to be our stand in at the kids’ “observation day” dance class on Monday.

Without these people, people who are honestly like family to our kids, we’d never be able to do what we do, at least not without a lot more screaming.  And that’s something I already have my fill of.  The other day, our daughter had to write down her family’s individual “special talents” for a Girl Scout activity.  She identified her brother as a great dancer, her other dad as a great singer, and herself as a great pianist.  I asked her what I was good at, and she said, “Screaming?”  With some gentle coaxing, she settled on soccer, something in which I have no real skill.  (They saw me kick a ball once really far and now forever more I will be the ultimate soccer player.)

While I’m dealing with the additional stress in my life that my grandfather’s sickness is causing, particularly because I’m so far away from him and from the family members that I want so badly to help support in person, I’ll allow myself a little extra leniency when it comes to screaming.  And maybe, if I always make time to calm down and apologize and explain the source of my feelings, my family might forgive me too.

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